Gyouketsu

Fun With Bob and Wilford

2009-08-30T20:53:03Z

Meat Loaf

1 lb ground meat (I used taco turkey meat)
½C quick-cooking oats
1 egg, slightly beaten
1 celery stick, chopped
8 baby carrots OR 2 carrots, grated
any seasonings you want (I went with garlic, chili powder, cayenne pepper, hot sauce and cinnamon)

Preheat oven to 350°F. Precook vegetables for soft texture, or leave as-is for crunchy. Line a shallow pan or cookie sheet with foil; spray foil with nonstick spray. Mix all ingredients; form into loaf and place in pan. Bake for 45 minutes. Enjoy.

Grilled Meat Loaf: All ingredients the same. Preheat George Foreman grill. Mix all ingredients; place on grill. Cook for 15 minutes. Enjoy.

So, for those who remember Bob the sebaceous cyst, yes, Pattie made me go back -- and to a different doctor, since our old one dropped us. Not that we were heartbroken or anything, since he went in with JTDMH he's barely had time to look at his patients. So Bob received a reprieve, the new doctor said it's nothing to worry about unless it bothers me or gets infected. He also made mom happy, he wanted me to bleed. It wasn't as bad as I remembered it, but it was still bad.

I suppose my sacrifice of blood was for the best, since my A1C was 10.3, double what it should be. Yes, Sean inherited the good ol' diabetes. Or "diabeetus", as Wilford Brimley calls it. So I get to poke myself (YAY MORE BLOOD!) and take metformin every day. And not eat brown sugar straight from the bag any more (which sucks, it clumps up and makes little candies). Supposed to be exercising too, haven't incorporated that into my routine yet but I will.

I'm going through the big "D" and don't mean Dallas!
I can't believe what the nurse had to tell us!
"Son, just how long have you had diabeetus?"
Well I'm going through the big "D" and don't mean Dallas!
And then there was the sleep study. Yes, Sean has sleep apnea too. This all validates my theory that going to the doctor makes you sick. El-oh-el. So now I get a CPAP machine too, which I haven't had the first bit of trouble with. Kinda shocked the sleep center people a bit I think, but hey, I'm the one that almost slept through a fire drill in college. ("Why's the alarm going off, it's not morning yet!") So that's giving me more energy, and as I get the blood sugar under control that should give me more energy too. I'll have to watch and make sure I don't spontaneously combust. Or start exercising to burn it off.

The Big Buzz

2009-07-02T00:24:55Z

When's the last time I was up for posting twice in two days? Anywho...

Cut my hair off today, feels so much cooler. I should cut it more often, but I opt for the "Does it stick up when I wake up?" test -- if I have to comb it, it's time to cut it. I'm lazy, I do as little maintenance as possible -- shave off the hair that bothers me (soul patch and underarms), adjust moustache length, trim my nose hair if it's visible, occasionally trim up underneath my beard and rarely trim the beard for length. And the ears if Pattie reminds me, like she just did. Thanks. Otherwise it gets the all-over treatment once every few months.

It hasn't always been that way. When I was little my dad took me to the barber with him, and after he died mom took me to the salon with her. At that time point it was an actual haircut which, despite protests, I always parted on the left. In retrospect paying for haircuts made no sense, as mom had gotten her cosmetology license young (though she never opted to use it) and I didn't like to comb my hair anyways. At some point that dawned on mom too, and she started cutting it at home, nothing shorter than the #3 guard though. Once I took over I switched to the #2 guard, and tried straight-razor smooth a few times (and you'd have thought the world was ending). But once I moved out the all-over no-guard buzz was by far the easiest.

All that to say I cut my hair. Anywho, got that done outside, came in to take a shower, and plopped my clothes down beside the biggest wasp I've fucking seen. Thank all that's holy for the 65°F weather, it was stunned and sluggish. I squished it with the only weapon available -- an empty toilet paper roll -- and had to squish a few times to really get it. I took it out to show Pattie, then threw it away. It wasn't until later that I thought I should have taken pics, but I'm not digging through the trash for a dead wasp. For comparison, it was about a third the length of the TP roll, I swear its wingspan was better than its length, and a quarter of the body was stinger.

There's two funny things about this story. One is that I've always been terrified of bugs, and my flight-or-flight response has always kept me safe except the one time I got a yellowjacket caught on my watchband trying to get it away from my food. I didn't start killing bugs until I moved in with Pattie. I'll admit I was a little shaken up afterwards, but something kicks in now that just wasn't there before, dunno if I feel like I'm protecting my wifey-poo or what.

The other is that the whole showing it to Pattie thing reminded me of an incident when I was little, one of many where I remember being told the story rather than the event itself. To set the setting, back then we lived in an apartment that regularly got what we called waterbugs, although browsing Wikipedia they looked more like either the Oriental or Florida woods cockroach. Anywho, one night mom was setting the table for supper. She heard dad yell at our cat -- which he wasn't overly fond of anyways, as I remember it -- and came into the dining room to see a dead waterbug in the middle of dad's plate, and the cat sitting on dad's chair looking as proud as anything.

Obligatory June Post

2009-06-30T20:09:24Z

I went to the doctor for the first time since 1995, have this cyst-type-thing on my back that's bothering Pattie. (Doesn't bother me a bit, aside from occasionally itching. I've named it Bob.) Also got set up for a sleep study, since Pattie says I stop breathing during the night. BP was a tad high at the doc, he blamed it on the apnea. BP was closer to expected at the sleep center, they blamed the higher reading on nerves. And mom's pissed because the doctor didn't draw blood, I swear she's not happy if I'm not bleeding.

Celebrities have been dropping like flies lately. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays all within a week of each other. Makes you wonder who's next.

Finally a break in the heat, it's 72°F today. Still ready for winter, but this is much better.

I swear I'm the only person in this house who can manage not to piss on the damn toilet seat.

What does it MEAN?

2009-05-20T18:42:03Z

I had the strangest dream...it was me, Pattie, President Obama, Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu and deceased PLO leader Yasser Arafat were in this warehouse office. Pattie and Obama stayed in the office to talk about something while the rest of us went out into the warehouse and shot each other with squirt guns.

Popsicles!

2009-04-16T12:52:27Z

I have a new favorite flavor. And that flavor is Cucumber with Chile.

They're actually pretty spicy -- and I like stuff spicy -- but also very refreshing. Pattie might like it without the chile, except they don't make them.

Twitter, Lent, Martians, and Garbage Digging

2009-03-27T23:11:27Z

Or, "Springtime in Celina, Ohio"

So Pattie introduced me to Twitter. http://twitter.com/red_beard_neo if you want to look. It's actually kind of interesting, seeing what people are thinking without all the clutter.

Lent is the one time of year when everyone serves one of my favorites -- fish. KFC should serve it all year, it's better than their chicken. And for the record, yes, I do like their chicken. What would be really awesome is if Taco Bell did fish. Mmm...fish tacos...

What I've never understood, though, is how fish gets around the whole no-meat rule. I'd think it's pretty obvious that fish is meat. Delicious, tasty meat, but meat nonetheless. I suppose I could look it up...and boy, am I glad I did. Apparently Thomas Aquinus though fish to be less nutritive than other meats, eggs and dairy products, and therefore less condusive to lust. Folks, I don't make this stuff up.

My poor wife, she thinks I've gone quite mad. You see, this spring being like every spring, the Martians have arrived.

Alright, so they're not really Martians, I just decided when I was little that that's what they should be called.

I'm not really even sure why, since I never really thought they were Martians. Then again, I'm also the one who named the Tooth Fairy Tree at camp, when I didn't really think it lived there.

The garbage system in Celina is, shall we say, interesting. To say the least. Instead of using any system I've ever heard of, you have to buy these special bags, or tags for large items. In a way I suppose it's kinda nice, since you only pay for the garbage you generate, but I rarely think to check if we have any bags before 5:30 on Thursday morning.

But that's not really what this is about. Once every few months they have a "Big Trash Day", basically one day where they'll pick up anything alongside the road without special tags or bags.

Or should I say, they'll pick up what's left.

Everyone in the town -- us included -- and probably quite a few out-of-towners pick through the trash others have left out. So far we've gotten a telescope, and some fishing poles to sell at the next garage sale. It also provides amusement, such as watching two people trying to navigate three bikes with a computer monitor and a trampoline strapped to them. Makes me wonder, though, whether or not they shouldn't go through the stuff and try to sell/donate the better items before junking them. Ah well.

And completely unrelated to any of that, we got our living room cleaned up. Yay!

Analysis, Mr. Spock!

2009-03-04T14:30:53Z

I had a dream this morning. As I've said before, it's pretty uncommon for me to remember my dreams. I don't think I've remembered one since the last one. Okay, THAT made sense. Since the last one I blogged about, back in freaking I dunno, lemme look it up. November. Maybe it's because I don't normally go to bed until I'm actually tired. Or maybe it's because my definition of "tired" is "if I don't go to bed NAO Pattie's gonna find me passed out at my computer or on the crapper. Again." Maybe I need to look at that. And maybe I'm rambling.

The dream. That's right. For whatever reason I dreamed I was back at Bluffton. Trigger and Hoch were there, even though it was my senior year. Found my room and started talking to the new roomies and the people popping in and out, none of whom I recognized. The thing I found remarkable was how easily I was talking to everybody, that's never been my strong suit. So why this dream now? Some possibilities:

* I thoroughly enjoyed my time at Bluffton. Who wouldn't want to dream about it?

* As of February 15, my student loans were paid in full. OH GOD YES. Now I can think about Bluffton without also thinking "Jeez, I'm STILL paying them?"

* My mom's getting ready to redo some rooms at her house, which means I'm going to be cleaning my old room out (and probably cleaning out stuff here, since I'm sure I'll find stuff there I want to bring here). Preparation for a waking trip down memory lane?

* Long nights of pushing a dust mop and cleaning crappers allow for copious amounts of introspection, and occasionally the topic turns to where my life has been -- and why -- and where I want it to go. One of the things I've realized is that I need to readjust how much it matters what certain people think, say and do. Let it reflect on what kind of person they are, then let it go. Easier said than done, maybe, but hey. Maybe a reaction to introspection?

* I've also realized that I really want to reconnect with Jon, one of my friends from Bluffton and one of the few I've spoken to since. (His wedding was where I met Pattie.) He's far from perfect, sure, but show me someone who isn't.

* Speaking of weddings, Rachael's is in a few weeks. The last time I was at a non-family wedding where I was the one who first knew the couple was, in fact, back when I was at Bluffton. Maybe that one's a stretch, but hey, my major was chemistry, not dream analysis.

OH GOD YES

2009-02-17T12:20:04Z

It's not quite a turducken...

2009-01-15T16:46:23Z

I present to you...the BACONPIG!

Does this not look delicious?

It doesn't happen that often.

2008-12-23T00:01:01Z

Last time I threw up without the aid of alcohol was, what, 2000, 2001, somewhere in there? And I couldn't tell you the last time I had the flu.

Well, today I had the flu.

Started out this morning at work with just a queasy stomach. Couldn't even go into the breakroom with whatever they were cooking -- had to have someone else get the trash -- and went outside (in -26°F wind chills) for fresh air at last break.

Off-subject a moment, about those temperatures. Had to break out my heavy Bengals coat, don't think I even wore it last year. Kept me plenty warm, but you remember the little kid on A Christmas Story that was so bundled up he could hardly move? Yeah, that's what it makes me feel like. Doesn't help that it's a 2X and these days I'm wearing 3X...

Anywho. So I held my stomach at bay until about a half-hour after I got home. Then I threw up everything in my stomach, threw up the bile in my stomach, tried to throw up my stomach, and threw up the water I was drinking, in that order. I was also cold, which doesn't happen.

By noon, though, the pyrotechnics died down, and some molasses water settled pretty good. Slept for a while, and I'll be good to go to work tonight. (Calling in would be stranger yet, haven't done that since 1997.)

Right now my stomach's gurgling a bit, but I think it's just lack of anything in it. We'll see how a plain grilled chicken breast does.

This is a subject.

2008-12-19T18:02:24Z

And so, scarcely a year and a half after getting dragged kicking and screaming into the '90s, I've already broken into the 2000s.

Mostly I got it for the size, although getting an MP3 player in roundabout fashion didn't hurt either. Crazy lady at the Verizon kiosk in the Lima Mall tried her darnedest to talk me out of it, all I can figure is they run on commission and the Juke was only available online. And then the website shipped it next-day. Free next-day shipping on a free phone. I can handle that.

Got about $350 left on my student loans, that'll be paid off in February. Thank goodness.

Finally got my Windows Update working again, turns out I was somehow missing a keyful of entries in the registry that disabled communication. Still trying to figure out how that happened.

Turkey TV

2008-11-28T15:59:57Z

So Thanksgiving started at 5:30am for me, not because we were making anything complicated (green bean casserole) but because I was picking up Pattie from work and going to mom's to help with the meal there.

Before I go any further, let me say that you should never follow the Green Bean Casserole recipe on the LCoFFO (Lying Can of French Fried Onions). Do not add milk.

Technically, Thursday started around 4:30am, I completely forgot until just now that I had one of Pattie's dreams. For whatever reason, I teamed up with my cousin Tasha and her husband -- except it wasn't the guy she's married to IRL -- to steal soft pretzels from an elementary school set up exactly like the hotel we stayed at in Ft. Wayne in September. They were in another part of the building shooting, so I tried to sneak out with my bounty. I did a double-take at the cop by the exit -- because I wasn't expecting a cop to be there. The fact that this cop was Arnold Schwarzenegger seemed completely normal. Anywho, I acted as calm as possible as I passed by him with my handful of soft pretzels, but he'd seen my double-take and questioned me in the parking lot. The truth must have came out, because next thing I knew I was wandering aimless and depressed around the Celina Walmart trying to figure out how I'd tell Pattie that I was going away. Then I woke up.

So. Got back up at 5:30, got my shower, cleaned out the crockpot (we were going to do the casserole in mom's oven, but then she decided to do the turkey in the oven instead of the NuWave), and got on my way. Picked Pattie up, got almost all the way to mom's house, then just inside the tiny village of Allentown we saw something you just don't see in these parts.

Yes, that's four turkeys in the middle of the road. On Thanksgiving. What are the odds? So Pattie took pictures on the phone, we went around them -- they weren't moving for anything -- and got to mom's house.

Ahh, Thanksgiving at mom's house. A holiday just wouldn't be a holiday without her and my sister Christy at each other's throats much of the day. Chris had decided to do most of the cooking herself, which is good and well except for two things: she's inexperienced at cooking large meals and unfamiliar foods, and my mom's side of the family doesn't believe in trivial things like recipes and measurements. So Christy would ask yet another question, mom would give a huffy answer, and Christy would get pissed about it, leaving mom even more exasperated for the next question.

And that's not even the reason mom wants to go out to eat next year. I'm still trying to figure out WTF they spent $150 on, 'cause there were five people and not that many leftovers.

After everything was cooked things settled down. Mom and Pattie took a nap, and I vegetated drowsily while Chris played euchre on Yahoo. Eventually I got the bright idea to pop a couple of Christy's Hydroxycut pills, which are basically 150% caffeine.

Now that I'm thinking about it, they might just work too. I didn't eat near as much at breakfast this morning as I normally do.

But that's not why I took them. 150% caffeine woke me up for the rest of the night, most of which was spent playing Electronic Monopoly Here and Now. Which Christy won.

We saw no turkeys on the way home.

Sausage Gravy

2008-11-20T19:30:57Z

1 lb bulk sausage
1 Tbsp butter
½ cup flour
1 cup evaporated milk
1 cup water
pepper, to taste

Brown sausage in saucepan and crumble; do not drain. Add butter and stir over medium-high heat until melted. Add flour; continue stirring over medium-high heat until flour is browned, being careful not to burn it. Remove from heat; add milk, water and pepper, and stir. Return to low heat, if desired, to heat up and thicken.

And of course, you have to serve it over real biscuits, not the stuff in the tube. Haven't gotten ambitious enough to do those completely from scratch (yet), but Bisquick and milk still does a good job.

A clarification on Ohio. Or, you’re your own worst enemy.

2008-11-16T15:59:43Z

Occasionally, there's an e-mail/bulletin/whatever that makes the rounds. It talks about winter in Ohio, and at what temperature we do certain things (like *finally* finding our coats, or turning on the heat *just* so our pipes don't burst).

Don't believe it. 99% of Ohioans were apparently born and raised in Florida.

One thing I'm sure doesn't help is their wardrobe strategy. Depending on who you ask, some 30-50% of your body heat is lost through your head. So, what do you see all winter? Yup, people in big bulky coats and no hats complaining about how cold they are. And they bundle up way too early. If you don't let yourself get used to 40°, what are you going to do when it's 14°?

Another is activity level. For whatever reason, people have this tendency to slow down when they're colder. Which lowers their metabolism and circulation. Which makes them colder. Seriously, do some jumping jacks or shovel faster or something.

But the worst thing people do to themselves is thermostat abuse. Going from 85° to 15° is much harder than going from 55° to 15°. Harder on your energy bill too, but that's beside the point. Florida inside, Ohio outside = bad.

In conclusion: Wear a hat, move around, and don't roast yourself. Thank you.

What to name this concoction...?

2008-11-12T11:51:42Z

2 cans jalapeño black-eyed peas, with liquid
1¾ cups water
3 tsp sodium-free chicken boullion

Put all ingredients in saucepan. Bring to boil; reduce heat and simmer ~10 minutes. Enjoy.

Am tired. Maybe post more later. Maybe not.

Men are from Mars, MSN writers are from farther out.

2008-10-16T13:45:15Z

I am thoroughly convinced that the writers for MSN have no idea what they're talking about.

"By now you'd think scientists could close the book on caffeine and move on to other mysteries, like why anyone would ever order a chai latte." From their article on the benefits of caffeine, this makes me wonder if the author has ever tasted a good chai latte. Or if s/he burned off too many taste buds testing these caffeinated hypotheses.

"RICKROLLING (2008) — an online prank in which users are unexpectedly linked to the ghastly Rick Astley music video “Never Gonna Give You Up.”" This from page 3 of their explanation of memes. Now granted, it's not Meat Loaf or Devo, but I've seen a lot worse -- and I haven't seen that many. Unless they were rhyming with Astley -- to which I say, even Dubya knows that words mean things.

And these were articles I clicked on with genuine interest. Does it get worse?

Tot Tidbits: Leary's Autism Rant, Xtina's Procreation Plans. Abbreviating "Christ" as X comes from the Greek Χριστος -- so unless the author is writing in Greek, the letter of abbreviation should be C, not X. (Those who refuse to write out Christmas should take notes.) Also, since it's an abbreviation for "Christ", this would make her name Christtina. May we be blessed by the magic of her music. Or not. More from the article:
- "Denis Leary had better keep an ear out for the angry clacking of Jenny McCarthy's high heels." She's a woman, therefore she must wear high heels. And the Autism Society of America says Leary is stuck in the 1950s.
- (Yeah, it's awful on a variety of levels, but keep in mind he does mockingly list himself as Dr. Denis Leary on the book's cover and is the same guy who penned a song titled "I'm an A--h---.") Grow some balls. If it's "awful on a variety of levels," then you turn around and justify it, what does that say about you?

So, Jessica Biel is JT's "box". Well not really. Still, someone somewhere along the line should have seen this and sent up a red flag.

I just closed the tab when I saw an article titled "The failure of the American consumer". Message to MSN from planet Earth: Please bring your collective head back from Uranus.

Hilarious

2008-10-11T21:25:10Z

You just lost the game.

You drink water?

2008-08-17T21:58:20Z

- Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" is popular because it's two females. A guy singing about kissing another guy would never take off.

- Still on that song, I wonder how long it'll take for the Kidz Bop version to hit. Because you know it will. They have those kids sing anything.

I eat peas with honey,
I've done it all my life;
It does taste kind of funny --
But it keeps them on the knife!

- There's a new soap opera called All My Chicken. I don't recommend it, though -- the acting is pretty fowl.

- Michael Phelps' middle name is Fred. No joke.

Oh, for the love of all that is holy.

2008-08-10T16:46:12Z

(Or: The Blog In Which I Use Too Many Acronyms)

So I got the bright idea to install SP3 for XP today, mostly just hoping against hope that it would clear up my KB892130 bug. No dice. Completely fubar'd my D-Link software too -- can't even uninstall it -- but now Windows is controlling the connection just fine. I swear, wireless is a more potent evil than the Devil himself. I'd complain more, but at least restarting WCZ was an easy fix and I remembered my insane WPA key first try.

Fiery Habanero Doritos. In a word: yes. Always thought it was habañero since I pronounce it that way, but for once Wikipedia has denied me. Anywho, these things are actually spicy. I can't just plow through them like the other flavors.

I've gotten so far out of the blogging habit that it's unreal. And I don't mean the FPS. In fact, video game-wise I'm back to Diablo 2:LOD. Oh yeah, POTCO went out the window, after a while it just gets too repetitive. You would think that eight years of D2 would get repetitive as well, but there's always something new to try. Not always viable, but new nonetheless.

Complaints go in the box below.
[]
Please write legibly.

You don't need a treadmill to walk for 20 minutes. All you need is 20 minutes.

2008-06-10T23:27:01Z

Misery doesn't love company -- misery only loves miserable company. I'll say no more and I'll name no names, and it likely still won't be enough.

Fuck it.

And now for something completely different -- a blog about the wedding. Putting the end first, Pattie and I are happily married and still love each other very much, even if I drive her nuts sometimes.

Last I spoke of the wedding was ten days out, when I wasn't nervous and things inevitably go wrong. I never did get nervous and things did go wrong, the biggest of which was a groomsman ducking out a week before the wedding. If you worked with me at OfficeMax #354, you'll recognize the name Eric Bantner. Yeah. Anywho, luckily Pattie's brother Jay owns a tux -- not white, but beggars can't be choosers -- and was more than happy to step in at the last minute.

Setting up the venue wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, nor was tearing it down. Our bartender helped lighten the load by taking cases of beer for his own even before the wedding, cutting back on the amount we had to load into Beth's car to return for cash. Ahem.

I don't think I've ever been photographed so much in my life. At least the photographer liked me, blinking aside. She said guys normally don't like to smile. On your wedding day? I'd say that says more about those guys than it does about me, but hey. There's a gaggle of photos on my MySpace, and we haven't even started scanning in the pro photos.

The rehearsal and dinner...should have gone before the photography. C'est la vie. There's not too much to rehearse for a five-minute ceremony -- maybe slower walking, but it's all good. The food was pizza and pasta from Pizza Hut, good stuff.

The ceremony itself. Neither of us cried, though I think we both came close a few times. I flipped a few words around and nobody cared, otherwise it was perfect.

The reception, like all good parties, was more for the guests than for the hosts and helpers. Not to say I didn't enjoy myself, but it's different being on point. Pattie's aunt made the food -- she says it's the last wedding she's doing, and I don't blame her a bit. It was good food, if you could eat it -- I deliberately sat down and ate a plate early, Pattie didn't and missed out.

Prima nocte, the first night, consisted of going to the hotel, undressing, and dropping dead. I did gather enough gumption to go to Sonic, as Pattie was starved.

For the honeymoon, we took a Carnival cruise to Key West and Cozumel. We flew into Miami and bussed to the boat; the two things that struck me were the hurricane damage that never got repaired, and the near-total lack of pine trees. I saw one pine in Miami, and it looked ready to die. Also of note is that you hear more Spanish in Miami than in Cozumel.

First stop, Key West. Very touristy, but very beautiful. And very laid back -- no one was pushy even once. If I ever wanted to live on America's wang, this would be the place.

Then again, if I wanted to live somewhere that God intended to wipe from the face of the earth, I'd move 20 miles north to Van Wert.

While in Key West we visited the Ripley's museum. It's the kind of place you have to see once, but don't really need to see twice.

Second day was Cozumel. We opted to visit the stores and Playa Mia Beach, if we go back I think I'd rather hit some of the historic stuff. Very touristy and very beautiful again, but you couldn't hardly walk by a storefront without being practically begged to come in. Pattie didn't know this at the time, but I just about decked one of the first ones because I thought he was going to grab her. I got between them and he backed off, no idea if I was glaring or just a harder sell.

I will vouch for one place, though -- The Tequileria. You can sample anything they have in the store, and they actually weren't pushy about things. Check them out if you're ever in Cozumel.

The beach resort we went to was very nice. Oceanside itself was more for looks -- ankle-deep sand and rocky coastline prevented us from really swimming in the ocean -- but the pool was nice and the food and drink was excellent. Backwards, though -- alcohol was free with admission but you paid for the food, whereas on the ship it was just the opposite.

Day three was our day at sea. I'm a poet and I don't know it. Carnival has what's called a Cruise to Nowhere, just three days out at sea, and I think I'd enjoy that just as well. While I'm describing the boat as day three, it really applies to the entire cruise: an absolute blast. Minus some stupidity from the guest shop, but we're wearing our rose-tinted goggles at the moment. This is the way to go if you want a relaxing vacation. Breakfast and lunch are buffets -- lunch actually has two buffets, Taste of Nations (for me) or hamburgers and hot dogs (for Pattie). For supper you could do buffets as well, but we opted for the formal dining room. Your choice of appetizer, main course and dessert -- all gourmet stuff here -- and if you wanted something else, or more of the same, all you had to do was ask. And this is all included in the price of admission, you only pay extra for alcohol, pop and bottled water. There's a big stage where they have shows and entertainment, a spa and gym if that's your thing, putt-putt (though with the upper-deck winds I'm not sure how that would have worked), a casino, several bars, one hell of a view, and stuff I'm sure I'm forgetting. Ironically, swimming is the one thing we didn't do -- it's there, but it's always jam-packed, and there's so much else to do that you just can't do at the municipal pool.

And then it was over. We collected our alcohol, gave our final tips, went through customs (and they do it right, not that BS at the US-Canadian crossing) and came back to the real world. For a while.

"I must defeat you in single combat, Jennifer Lopez!"

2008-04-22T21:53:54Z

So yeah. Remember back in, what, March? when I was waiting on a furnace? Well, they called yesterday and said they were finally gonna install it today.

If you're wonering what my mom was wondering, yes, it's far too warm out to run the furnace. Our air conditioner is tied in, so one no worky, both no worky.

Anywho.

So they call today and say they'll install it tomorrow instead. Color me periwinkle. Now mind you, there's a gottverdammt furnace sitting on our back porch, in cardboard, and it really looks like it could rain any time. And they're waiting until tomorrow.

Landlord? More like scumlord.

EDIT: They did come today, but at 2pm instead of 10am like they were supposed to. I'm a bit surprised they showed up at all...

Ten Days 'Til Forever

2008-04-16T21:39:15Z

I'm supposed to blog about whether or not I'm nervous. Of course not, it's a wedding -- stuff always goes wrong, you just deal with it. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Other than that, not much new. How you guys doing?

I sleep naked. Put THAT mental image in your crack-pipe and smoke it.

2008-02-29T20:08:19Z

So iunno, I've just lost motivation to blog. Only reason I'm really doing it now is to put off calling my interviewer back -- I despise talking on the phone. Screw it, I'll call. Didn't get it, ah well. I got more dental swords, these ones have a flip-out point guard so Nate will be happy to know they don't reach far into the ear canal. Not that the waxy fortress has made any return anyways, I think irritation from the loud radio chatter and earpieces at OfficeMax had a lot to do with it. So I'm-a be married in a little under two months, and Pattie has come to the realization that momma and I were right about eloping. It'll still be a nice wedding, just much headacheness planning it. We're still on track, although we've still got some invitation stragglers to get addresses for and some groomsmen still need fitted for tuxes.

And I make fun of Pattie for not using carriage returns. Wow. I have to pee.

I am returned. So, Pirates of the Caribbean Online. For as good a speller as I am, I ALWAYS want two "R"s and one "B" in that word. Anyways. The limited free trial is nifty. I went ahead and did the $5 for the first month of unlimited, will know better in a few weeks if it's worth $10/mo after that. So far it's really fun, which surprises me because I normally hate the behind-the-character-3D crapola. Back in the day I think I tried to play Guild Wars for a whole week before I gave up in disgust. Leave it to Disney to finally get it right.

So our furnace is out again. The one nice thing about renting is that it's someone else's problem when stuff goes to pot. Which is ironic, because going to the pot is my only problem when the furnace goes out. I swear that toilet seat has a layer of dry ice on it.

Shill #2: Have I told you guys about NutraCal? Good stuff. I'm not personally worried about calcium deficiency -- I'd actually originally gotten it for Pattie, as it also boasts increased energy. Turns out Pattie can't handle it on the far end of her GI tract, but I've noticed it gives me more energy. Anyone who's interested can get a jar for $3.85, coupon code is CAL101. Without the period. That just denotes the end of the sentence.

I like green tea.

So I finally used up the last of that wretched toothpaste I had. The flavor wasn't bad, it was the packaging. It was a two-part toothpaste, but both parts were in one segmented tube. As you can guess, only one part ever came out at a time, and it got worse as I went up the tube. Technically there was still a little useable product in there, I just gave up on it. Good riddance.

If someone comes up to you and asks you to clean out the sink thigamajigger, are you going to figure out they wanted you to take the dishes out of the strainer, which is not in the sink? Yeah, me either. And that apparently makes me an asshole. Huh.

And I'm spent.

Toys! and a word to the wise guys.

2007-12-30T14:31:03Z

Always check online before buying electronics, particularly accessories. A 6' HDMI cable costs $35 at Wal-Mart. It's $14 on Newegg, including shipping.

In other news, connecting an HDTV to your cable box via coax (and a splittered coax at that...) just doesn't do it justice. Better than our ready-to-die CRT, to be sure, but still.

In other other news, this is why I was bitching about building an entertainment center last post, the old one wasn't big enough. (This one just barely is.) Three-and-a-half hour assembly time my ass. Maybe if you have a room the size of a hangar, a powered screwdriver, absolutely no life, and the help of Santa's elves -- *maybe* you could swing 3½ hours. But it's done. I don't think I've sworn so much since I hooked up my stereo to my computer.

Oh, and speaking of dying CRTs, Pattie's computer monitor went out as well. Joy.

The BIG 3-0

2007-12-29T22:48:14Z

Or, "The Entry That Took Four Hours Because I Had To Finish Assembling Our Entertainment Center".

So, yesterday I hit my newest age milestone. Don't feel any older though -- no surprise, I never do on my birthday. In five years I can legally run for President, meaning I'll just miss the 2012 election. Vote for me in 2016.

Anywho, had a good birthday. Went to Bella's (local Italian restaurant) for lunch, it was nummy. Poor Pattie though, she only liked about half of what we got. Pattie got me a ring (I'll get motivated to picturize it later), and mom and Christy got me two books I wanted that suck. I'd heard good things about Kevin Trudeau's work -- apparently I was listening to the wrong people.

I was going to write more here, but in the meantime I've forgotten what it was.

And now for a list of pops that need to be brought back NAO:
* Crystal Pepsi
* Pepsi Blue
* RC Edge
* Faygo Frosh
* Faygo Moonshine