I had the strangest dream...it was me, Pattie, President Obama, Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu and deceased PLO leader Yasser Arafat were in this warehouse office. Pattie and Obama stayed in the office to talk about something while the rest of us went out into the warehouse and shot each other with squirt guns.

I had a dream this morning. As I've said before, it's pretty uncommon for me to remember my dreams. I don't think I've remembered one since the last one. Okay, THAT made sense. Since the last one I blogged about, back in freaking I dunno, lemme look it up. November. Maybe it's because I don't normally go to bed until I'm actually tired. Or maybe it's because my definition of "tired" is "if I don't go to bed NAO Pattie's gonna find me passed out at my computer or on the crapper. Again." Maybe I need to look at that. And maybe I'm rambling.

The dream. That's right. For whatever reason I dreamed I was back at Bluffton. Trigger and Hoch were there, even though it was my senior year. Found my room and started talking to the new roomies and the people popping in and out, none of whom I recognized. The thing I found remarkable was how easily I was talking to everybody, that's never been my strong suit. So why this dream now? Some possibilities:

* I thoroughly enjoyed my time at Bluffton. Who wouldn't want to dream about it?

* As of February 15, my student loans were paid in full. OH GOD YES. Now I can think about Bluffton without also thinking "Jeez, I'm STILL paying them?"

* My mom's getting ready to redo some rooms at her house, which means I'm going to be cleaning my old room out (and probably cleaning out stuff here, since I'm sure I'll find stuff there I want to bring here). Preparation for a waking trip down memory lane?

* Long nights of pushing a dust mop and cleaning crappers allow for copious amounts of introspection, and occasionally the topic turns to where my life has been -- and why -- and where I want it to go. One of the things I've realized is that I need to readjust how much it matters what certain people think, say and do. Let it reflect on what kind of person they are, then let it go. Easier said than done, maybe, but hey. Maybe a reaction to introspection?

* I've also realized that I really want to reconnect with Jon, one of my friends from Bluffton and one of the few I've spoken to since. (His wedding was where I met Pattie.) He's far from perfect, sure, but show me someone who isn't.

* Speaking of weddings, Rachael's is in a few weeks. The last time I was at a non-family wedding where I was the one who first knew the couple was, in fact, back when I was at Bluffton. Maybe that one's a stretch, but hey, my major was chemistry, not dream analysis.

So Thanksgiving started at 5:30am for me, not because we were making anything complicated (green bean casserole) but because I was picking up Pattie from work and going to mom's to help with the meal there.

Before I go any further, let me say that you should never follow the Green Bean Casserole recipe on the LCoFFO (Lying Can of French Fried Onions). Do not add milk.

Technically, Thursday started around 4:30am, I completely forgot until just now that I had one of Pattie's dreams. For whatever reason, I teamed up with my cousin Tasha and her husband -- except it wasn't the guy she's married to IRL -- to steal soft pretzels from an elementary school set up exactly like the hotel we stayed at in Ft. Wayne in September. They were in another part of the building shooting, so I tried to sneak out with my bounty. I did a double-take at the cop by the exit -- because I wasn't expecting a cop to be there. The fact that this cop was Arnold Schwarzenegger seemed completely normal. Anywho, I acted as calm as possible as I passed by him with my handful of soft pretzels, but he'd seen my double-take and questioned me in the parking lot. The truth must have came out, because next thing I knew I was wandering aimless and depressed around the Celina Walmart trying to figure out how I'd tell Pattie that I was going away. Then I woke up.

So. Got back up at 5:30, got my shower, cleaned out the crockpot (we were going to do the casserole in mom's oven, but then she decided to do the turkey in the oven instead of the NuWave), and got on my way. Picked Pattie up, got almost all the way to mom's house, then just inside the tiny village of Allentown we saw something you just don't see in these parts.



Yes, that's four turkeys in the middle of the road. On Thanksgiving. What are the odds? So Pattie took pictures on the phone, we went around them -- they weren't moving for anything -- and got to mom's house.

Ahh, Thanksgiving at mom's house. A holiday just wouldn't be a holiday without her and my sister Christy at each other's throats much of the day. Chris had decided to do most of the cooking herself, which is good and well except for two things: she's inexperienced at cooking large meals and unfamiliar foods, and my mom's side of the family doesn't believe in trivial things like recipes and measurements. So Christy would ask yet another question, mom would give a huffy answer, and Christy would get pissed about it, leaving mom even more exasperated for the next question.

And that's not even the reason mom wants to go out to eat next year. I'm still trying to figure out WTF they spent $150 on, 'cause there were five people and not that many leftovers.

After everything was cooked things settled down. Mom and Pattie took a nap, and I vegetated drowsily while Chris played euchre on Yahoo. Eventually I got the bright idea to pop a couple of Christy's Hydroxycut pills, which are basically 150% caffeine.

Now that I'm thinking about it, they might just work too. I didn't eat near as much at breakfast this morning as I normally do.

But that's not why I took them. 150% caffeine woke me up for the rest of the night, most of which was spent playing Electronic Monopoly Here and Now. Which Christy won.

We saw no turkeys on the way home.