When's the last time I was up for posting twice in two days? Anywho...

Cut my hair off today, feels so much cooler. I should cut it more often, but I opt for the "Does it stick up when I wake up?" test -- if I have to comb it, it's time to cut it. ( This gets longer than I thought it would. The entry, not my hair. )

All that to say I cut my hair. Anywho, got that done outside, came in to take a shower, and plopped my clothes down beside ( now I'm just building suspense... )

I went to the doctor for the first time since 1995, have this cyst-type-thing on my back that's bothering Pattie. (Doesn't bother me a bit, aside from occasionally itching. I've named it Bob.) Also got set up for a sleep study, since Pattie says I stop breathing during the night. BP was a tad high at the doc, he blamed it on the apnea. BP was closer to expected at the sleep center, they blamed the higher reading on nerves. And mom's pissed because the doctor didn't draw blood, I swear she's not happy if I'm not bleeding.

Celebrities have been dropping like flies lately. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays all within a week of each other. Makes you wonder who's next.

Finally a break in the heat, it's 72°F today. Still ready for winter, but this is much better.

I swear I'm the only person in this house who can manage not to piss on the damn toilet seat.

Or, "Springtime in Celina, Ohio"

( Twitter )
( Lent )
( Martians )
( Garbage Digging )

And completely unrelated to any of that, we got our living room cleaned up. Yay!

I had a dream this morning. As I've said before, it's pretty uncommon for me to remember my dreams. I don't think I've remembered one since the last one. Okay, THAT made sense. Since the last one I blogged about, back in freaking I dunno, lemme look it up. November. Maybe it's because I don't normally go to bed until I'm actually tired. Or maybe it's because my definition of "tired" is "if I don't go to bed NAO Pattie's gonna find me passed out at my computer or on the crapper. Again." Maybe I need to look at that. And maybe I'm rambling.

The dream. That's right. For whatever reason I dreamed I was back at Bluffton. Trigger and Hoch were there, even though it was my senior year. Found my room and started talking to the new roomies and the people popping in and out, none of whom I recognized. The thing I found remarkable was how easily I was talking to everybody, that's never been my strong suit. So why this dream now? Some possibilities:

* I thoroughly enjoyed my time at Bluffton. Who wouldn't want to dream about it?

* As of February 15, my student loans were paid in full. OH GOD YES. Now I can think about Bluffton without also thinking "Jeez, I'm STILL paying them?"

* My mom's getting ready to redo some rooms at her house, which means I'm going to be cleaning my old room out (and probably cleaning out stuff here, since I'm sure I'll find stuff there I want to bring here). Preparation for a waking trip down memory lane?

* Long nights of pushing a dust mop and cleaning crappers allow for copious amounts of introspection, and occasionally the topic turns to where my life has been -- and why -- and where I want it to go. One of the things I've realized is that I need to readjust how much it matters what certain people think, say and do. Let it reflect on what kind of person they are, then let it go. Easier said than done, maybe, but hey. Maybe a reaction to introspection?

* I've also realized that I really want to reconnect with Jon, one of my friends from Bluffton and one of the few I've spoken to since. (His wedding was where I met Pattie.) He's far from perfect, sure, but show me someone who isn't.

* Speaking of weddings, Rachael's is in a few weeks. The last time I was at a non-family wedding where I was the one who first knew the couple was, in fact, back when I was at Bluffton. Maybe that one's a stretch, but hey, my major was chemistry, not dream analysis.

Last time I threw up without the aid of alcohol was, what, 2000, 2001, somewhere in there? And I couldn't tell you the last time I had the flu.

Well, today I had the flu.

Started out this morning at work with just a queasy stomach. Couldn't even go into the breakroom with whatever they were cooking -- had to have someone else get the trash -- and went outside (in -26°F wind chills) for fresh air at last break.

Off-subject a moment, about those temperatures. Had to break out my heavy Bengals coat, don't think I even wore it last year. Kept me plenty warm, but you remember the little kid on A Christmas Story that was so bundled up he could hardly move? Yeah, that's what it makes me feel like. Doesn't help that it's a 2X and these days I'm wearing 3X...

Anywho. So I held my stomach at bay until about a half-hour after I got home. Then I threw up everything in my stomach, threw up the bile in my stomach, tried to throw up my stomach, and threw up the water I was drinking, in that order. I was also cold, which doesn't happen.

By noon, though, the pyrotechnics died down, and some molasses water settled pretty good. Slept for a while, and I'll be good to go to work tonight. (Calling in would be stranger yet, haven't done that since 1997.)

Right now my stomach's gurgling a bit, but I think it's just lack of anything in it. We'll see how a plain grilled chicken breast does.

And so, scarcely a year and a half after getting dragged kicking and screaming into the '90s, I've already broken into the 2000s.


Mostly I got it for the size, although getting an MP3 player in roundabout fashion didn't hurt either. Crazy lady at the Verizon kiosk in the Lima Mall tried her darnedest to talk me out of it, all I can figure is they run on commission and the Juke was only available online. And then the website shipped it next-day. Free next-day shipping on a free phone. I can handle that.

Got about $350 left on my student loans, that'll be paid off in February. Thank goodness.

Finally got my Windows Update working again, turns out I was somehow missing a keyful of entries in the registry that disabled communication. Still trying to figure out how that happened.

So Thanksgiving started at 5:30am for me, not because we were making anything complicated (green bean casserole) but because I was picking up Pattie from work and going to mom's to help with the meal there.

Before I go any further, let me say that you should never follow the Green Bean Casserole recipe on the LCoFFO (Lying Can of French Fried Onions). Do not add milk.

Technically, Thursday started around 4:30am, I completely forgot until just now that I had one of Pattie's dreams. For whatever reason, I teamed up with my cousin Tasha and her husband -- except it wasn't the guy she's married to IRL -- to steal soft pretzels from an elementary school set up exactly like the hotel we stayed at in Ft. Wayne in September. They were in another part of the building shooting, so I tried to sneak out with my bounty. I did a double-take at the cop by the exit -- because I wasn't expecting a cop to be there. The fact that this cop was Arnold Schwarzenegger seemed completely normal. Anywho, I acted as calm as possible as I passed by him with my handful of soft pretzels, but he'd seen my double-take and questioned me in the parking lot. The truth must have came out, because next thing I knew I was wandering aimless and depressed around the Celina Walmart trying to figure out how I'd tell Pattie that I was going away. Then I woke up.

So. Got back up at 5:30, got my shower, cleaned out the crockpot (we were going to do the casserole in mom's oven, but then she decided to do the turkey in the oven instead of the NuWave), and got on my way. Picked Pattie up, got almost all the way to mom's house, then just inside the tiny village of Allentown we saw something you just don't see in these parts.



Yes, that's four turkeys in the middle of the road. On Thanksgiving. What are the odds? So Pattie took pictures on the phone, we went around them -- they weren't moving for anything -- and got to mom's house.

Ahh, Thanksgiving at mom's house. A holiday just wouldn't be a holiday without her and my sister Christy at each other's throats much of the day. Chris had decided to do most of the cooking herself, which is good and well except for two things: she's inexperienced at cooking large meals and unfamiliar foods, and my mom's side of the family doesn't believe in trivial things like recipes and measurements. So Christy would ask yet another question, mom would give a huffy answer, and Christy would get pissed about it, leaving mom even more exasperated for the next question.

And that's not even the reason mom wants to go out to eat next year. I'm still trying to figure out WTF they spent $150 on, 'cause there were five people and not that many leftovers.

After everything was cooked things settled down. Mom and Pattie took a nap, and I vegetated drowsily while Chris played euchre on Yahoo. Eventually I got the bright idea to pop a couple of Christy's Hydroxycut pills, which are basically 150% caffeine.

Now that I'm thinking about it, they might just work too. I didn't eat near as much at breakfast this morning as I normally do.

But that's not why I took them. 150% caffeine woke me up for the rest of the night, most of which was spent playing Electronic Monopoly Here and Now. Which Christy won.

We saw no turkeys on the way home.

Occasionally, there's an e-mail/bulletin/whatever that makes the rounds. It talks about winter in Ohio, and at what temperature we do certain things (like *finally* finding our coats, or turning on the heat *just* so our pipes don't burst).

Don't believe it. 99% of Ohioans were apparently born and raised in Florida.

One thing I'm sure doesn't help is their wardrobe strategy. Depending on who you ask, some 30-50% of your body heat is lost through your head. So, what do you see all winter? Yup, people in big bulky coats and no hats complaining about how cold they are. And they bundle up way too early. If you don't let yourself get used to 40°, what are you going to do when it's 14°?

Another is activity level. For whatever reason, people have this tendency to slow down when they're colder. Which lowers their metabolism and circulation. Which makes them colder. Seriously, do some jumping jacks or shovel faster or something.

But the worst thing people do to themselves is thermostat abuse. Going from 85° to 15° is much harder than going from 55° to 15°. Harder on your energy bill too, but that's beside the point. Florida inside, Ohio outside = bad.

In conclusion: Wear a hat, move around, and don't roast yourself. Thank you.

So yeah. Remember back in, what, March? when I was waiting on a furnace? Well, they called yesterday and said they were finally gonna install it today.

If you're wonering what my mom was wondering, yes, it's far too warm out to run the furnace. Our air conditioner is tied in, so one no worky, both no worky.

Anywho.

So they call today and say they'll install it tomorrow instead. Color me periwinkle. Now mind you, there's a gottverdammt furnace sitting on our back porch, in cardboard, and it really looks like it could rain any time. And they're waiting until tomorrow.

Landlord? More like scumlord.

EDIT: They did come today, but at 2pm instead of 10am like they were supposed to. I'm a bit surprised they showed up at all...

I'm supposed to blog about whether or not I'm nervous. Of course not, it's a wedding -- stuff always goes wrong, you just deal with it. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Other than that, not much new. How you guys doing?

So iunno, I've just lost motivation to blog. Only reason I'm really doing it now is to put off calling my interviewer back -- I despise talking on the phone. Screw it, I'll call. Didn't get it, ah well. I got more dental swords, these ones have a flip-out point guard so Nate will be happy to know they don't reach far into the ear canal. Not that the waxy fortress has made any return anyways, I think irritation from the loud radio chatter and earpieces at OfficeMax had a lot to do with it. So I'm-a be married in a little under two months, and Pattie has come to the realization that momma and I were right about eloping. It'll still be a nice wedding, just much headacheness planning it. We're still on track, although we've still got some invitation stragglers to get addresses for and some groomsmen still need fitted for tuxes.

And I make fun of Pattie for not using carriage returns. Wow. I have to pee.

I am returned. So, Pirates of the Caribbean Online. For as good a speller as I am, I ALWAYS want two "R"s and one "B" in that word. Anyways. The limited free trial is nifty. I went ahead and did the $5 for the first month of unlimited, will know better in a few weeks if it's worth $10/mo after that. So far it's really fun, which surprises me because I normally hate the behind-the-character-3D crapola. Back in the day I think I tried to play Guild Wars for a whole week before I gave up in disgust. Leave it to Disney to finally get it right.

So our furnace is out again. The one nice thing about renting is that it's someone else's problem when stuff goes to pot. Which is ironic, because going to the pot is my only problem when the furnace goes out. I swear that toilet seat has a layer of dry ice on it.

Shill #2: Have I told you guys about NutraCal? Good stuff. I'm not personally worried about calcium deficiency -- I'd actually originally gotten it for Pattie, as it also boasts increased energy. Turns out Pattie can't handle it on the far end of her GI tract, but I've noticed it gives me more energy. Anyone who's interested can get a jar for $3.85, coupon code is CAL101. Without the period. That just denotes the end of the sentence.

I like green tea.

So I finally used up the last of that wretched toothpaste I had. The flavor wasn't bad, it was the packaging. It was a two-part toothpaste, but both parts were in one segmented tube. As you can guess, only one part ever came out at a time, and it got worse as I went up the tube. Technically there was still a little useable product in there, I just gave up on it. Good riddance.

If someone comes up to you and asks you to clean out the sink thigamajigger, are you going to figure out they wanted you to take the dishes out of the strainer, which is not in the sink? Yeah, me either. And that apparently makes me an asshole. Huh.

And I'm spent.

Always check online before buying electronics, particularly accessories. A 6' HDMI cable costs $35 at Wal-Mart. It's $14 on Newegg, including shipping.

In other news, connecting an HDTV to your cable box via coax (and a splittered coax at that...) just doesn't do it justice. Better than our ready-to-die CRT, to be sure, but still.

In other other news, this is why I was bitching about building an entertainment center last post, the old one wasn't big enough. (This one just barely is.) Three-and-a-half hour assembly time my ass. Maybe if you have a room the size of a hangar, a powered screwdriver, absolutely no life, and the help of Santa's elves -- *maybe* you could swing 3½ hours. But it's done. I don't think I've sworn so much since I hooked up my stereo to my computer.

Oh, and speaking of dying CRTs, Pattie's computer monitor went out as well. Joy.

Or, "The Entry That Took Four Hours Because I Had To Finish Assembling Our Entertainment Center".

So, yesterday I hit my newest age milestone. Don't feel any older though -- no surprise, I never do on my birthday. In five years I can legally run for President, meaning I'll just miss the 2012 election. Vote for me in 2016.

Anywho, had a good birthday. Went to Bella's (local Italian restaurant) for lunch, it was nummy. Poor Pattie though, she only liked about half of what we got. Pattie got me a ring (I'll get motivated to picturize it later), and mom and Christy got me two books I wanted that suck. I'd heard good things about Kevin Trudeau's work -- apparently I was listening to the wrong people.

I was going to write more here, but in the meantime I've forgotten what it was.

And now for a list of pops that need to be brought back NAO:
* Crystal Pepsi
* Pepsi Blue
* RC Edge
* Faygo Frosh
* Faygo Moonshine

So I decided to change this thing up again. Went with the Plus account, which is free with ads. Incidentally, if you're seeing ads here or anywhere else, you're using the wrong browser. Go get Firefox, and the AdBlock and Filterset.G Updater extensions to go with it.

Pattie's gonna kill me for that icon. Ah well.

So Pattie and I joined the YMCA. The pool has handlebars underneath the diving platforms, pulling yourself up on them is a pretty decent workout, as is swimming in general. Maybe I'll finally burn off some gut.

Short one for now, get to go pick up Pattie from work and go swimmin'.

Chelada Caliente Catfish

1 lb catfish (fillets or nuggets)
1 22oz bottle chelada-style beer (Miller Chill for us lazy folk, or your favorite with lime and salt)
hot sauce and garlic (powder or pressed), to taste
corn meal-based dry breading
non-stick cooking spray

Mix beer, hot sauce and garlic in a large bowl. Add catfish, close lid or cover with foil/wrap, and marinate in refrigerator for 24 hours. When ready, preheat oven to 365°F. Put breading in a shallow pan and spray a cookie sheet with non-stick spray. Dredge fish with the breading, then place on cookie sheet. Bake at 365° for 30-40 minutes.

---

Not too much new, although Pattie and I did spend a few nights in Fort Wayne. Toured the DeBrand chocolate factory, home of the best chocolate ever; swam, swam, and swam some more; ate at the Cork 'n Cleaver, which was awesome; went shopping for a day (my next entry will probably include a review of the grass jelly I picked up at the Asian market); had my first mojito, had the Jones Soda Halloween mojito pop, and realized the pop was better; and generally had a good time.

A word to the wise, learn from my mistake or suffer my fate: If you're going to deep-fry a pot pie, thaw it first, for not even boiling oil shall warm its frozen heart.

My aunt went on NutriSystem for a few months, and I think I inherited about a month's worth of food she didn't like. Good stuff if you like a wide variety of foods, though probably not worth the cost even if you liked it all. Especially since some of these "meals" are "here's turkey in viniagrette, go buy lettuce and salad toppings".

The new job's going well enough, would still like to get out of the retail environment though. I was hoping it was just Lima that was a dead spot for lab jobs -- apparently it's the entire area. Honda's Anna plant is doing a round of open hiring, it'd be nice to get a call back from them, otherwise we'll have to figure out where we want to look for jobs at.

Wedding planning has slowed down a bit, I think we're at a point where there's not so much to do until closer to time.

Anybody wanna come do my dishes?

Buying douche is fun, especially when you're buying it where you work.

But I digress. As of yesterday I have my first confirmed broken bone -- left foot, toe next to the pinky. Note to self: big iron bedframes don't move for your foot. It only really hurt when I first did it, the rest of yesterday it just felt stiff and today you wouldn't know it was broken except by wiggling it around.

Don't know if it's my first actual break, though. Back when I fell and broke my sunglasses I did something to my kneecap where I couldn't kneel on it for 6 months and just didn't tell anyone. I got better.

Speaking of which, I still need to order sunglasses. The pair that replaced that pair got chewed up by mom's dog, what, last summer I think?

Just the brokest he's been in a very long time.

Still no job, had a few interviews though. Setting up a second interview with the Devil (Wal-Mart) tomorrow, not thrilled about going back into retail but it'd be 3rd shift so I can keep looking for other stuff without taking time off.

Holy run-on sentence, Batman!

Other than that, living with Pattie is going well, not that I thought there'd be any problems. We still love each other and we're still getting married.

If you have the chance, deep-fried Twinkies and Snickers are surprisingly good. I recommend frying the Snickers first, as the oil takes on some chocolate that transfers to the Twinkies.