When's the last time I was up for posting twice in two days? Anywho...

Cut my hair off today, feels so much cooler. I should cut it more often, but I opt for the "Does it stick up when I wake up?" test -- if I have to comb it, it's time to cut it. ( This gets longer than I thought it would. The entry, not my hair. )

All that to say I cut my hair. Anywho, got that done outside, came in to take a shower, and plopped my clothes down beside ( now I'm just building suspense... )

Or, "Springtime in Celina, Ohio"

( Twitter )
( Lent )
( Martians )
( Garbage Digging )

And completely unrelated to any of that, we got our living room cleaned up. Yay!

I had a dream this morning. As I've said before, it's pretty uncommon for me to remember my dreams. I don't think I've remembered one since the last one. Okay, THAT made sense. Since the last one I blogged about, back in freaking I dunno, lemme look it up. November. Maybe it's because I don't normally go to bed until I'm actually tired. Or maybe it's because my definition of "tired" is "if I don't go to bed NAO Pattie's gonna find me passed out at my computer or on the crapper. Again." Maybe I need to look at that. And maybe I'm rambling.

The dream. That's right. For whatever reason I dreamed I was back at Bluffton. Trigger and Hoch were there, even though it was my senior year. Found my room and started talking to the new roomies and the people popping in and out, none of whom I recognized. The thing I found remarkable was how easily I was talking to everybody, that's never been my strong suit. So why this dream now? Some possibilities:

* I thoroughly enjoyed my time at Bluffton. Who wouldn't want to dream about it?

* As of February 15, my student loans were paid in full. OH GOD YES. Now I can think about Bluffton without also thinking "Jeez, I'm STILL paying them?"

* My mom's getting ready to redo some rooms at her house, which means I'm going to be cleaning my old room out (and probably cleaning out stuff here, since I'm sure I'll find stuff there I want to bring here). Preparation for a waking trip down memory lane?

* Long nights of pushing a dust mop and cleaning crappers allow for copious amounts of introspection, and occasionally the topic turns to where my life has been -- and why -- and where I want it to go. One of the things I've realized is that I need to readjust how much it matters what certain people think, say and do. Let it reflect on what kind of person they are, then let it go. Easier said than done, maybe, but hey. Maybe a reaction to introspection?

* I've also realized that I really want to reconnect with Jon, one of my friends from Bluffton and one of the few I've spoken to since. (His wedding was where I met Pattie.) He's far from perfect, sure, but show me someone who isn't.

* Speaking of weddings, Rachael's is in a few weeks. The last time I was at a non-family wedding where I was the one who first knew the couple was, in fact, back when I was at Bluffton. Maybe that one's a stretch, but hey, my major was chemistry, not dream analysis.

So back in the mid-'80s, our computer was a Tandy 1000 HX. A lot of stuff on it may have been bare-bones, but one thing it did have was a kick-arse (for the time, anyways) 3-voice sound card. And we had Thexder, an incredibly fun (and incredibly difficult) platform game. For whatever reason, they opted for classical music in the intro and credits, and thus my first exposure to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

Fast-forward twenty years, and that's what we're playing when Pattie walks down the aisle. How many people can honestly say they had video game music at their wedding ceremony?

And here, rearing its ugly head, is that LJ meme where you take the first sentence from the first entry of each month and pretend it's something meaningful. I dislike hard-boiled eggs.

Enero: First entry of the new year, and I've changed the style of my LJ again.
Febrero: I don't get heartburn.
Marzo: I am currently browsing teh intarweb with German Earthtrout.
Abril: ...and, after taking mom's computer apart, I can officially say I'm not allergic to the stuff.
Mayo: Or: "The chickens are comin' home to roost, Bobby Boucher."
Junio: Yet one more reason to love winter.
Julio: So, yuuhidokka says I must list seven songs I've been listening to a lot, or the zebra gets it.
Agosto: The Constitution of the Confederate States of America
Septiembre: We've been having intermittent trouble with our DSL for, what, a few weeks now?
Octubre: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca.
Noviembre: Seems like it rains every time I vote.
Diciembre: For some, it's schedules and PDAs.

I've written a lot less about food this year, probably because I've fallen out of the habit of going to Stites and picking up oddities. I should get back into the habit, those were always fun to write up. Also, less about wireless networking -- and the shiny new D-Link router seems to be rocksteady (Bebop unavailable for comment), so hopefully that's a subject I'm done with for a while. May Linksys fall on its face with its hands in its pockets.

Aside from a few events here at year's end (the car debacle and going out with Pattie), this year I really seemed to be in a holding pattern. I realize the whole "may you live in interesting times" thing is more of a left-handed curse, but really, I was boring this year.

For being a lifelong gamer, I don't write about games much either. I really should resubscribe to EGM. Even when I wasn't in the market for a game it was always a blast to read, and since I let it lapse a few years ago -- well, more like several now -- I've gotten further out of the gaming loop. (I honestly think my only game purchase this year was Gran Turismo 4.) Sure, I realize all the same information is available online for free, but not in one place and not as well-done. Or at least, that was the case several years ago. I should probably grab an issue first (at newsstand price, eww) just to make sure it hasn't gone down the crapper.

It's my birthday in 7 minutes. Yay 29!

For a place that's been de facto dead since late '02, putting up the final announcement on my old Ezboard feels like shooting Old Yeller. At this point such a message probably wasn't necessary. I did it for me, for some kind of closure; and for the memory of the board, it deserved more than just a dusty grave.

Jeez, I even sound like the fucking dog died. I'm stopping here before I actually depress myself.

[HERO] Lutherans staunchly maintain ban on gays

---

2005-08-14 02:08:17 AM aendeuryu

Holy shiat. Bigotry earns a Hero tag?

I suspect that the number of ad impressions my visits make to Fark.com aren't enough to buy Drew a cup of coffee over the course of a year, but that's it. I'm farking gone.

2005-08-14 02:42:20 AM red_beard_neo

aendeuryu: You mention ad impressions, and I'd be surprised if that weren't a huge factor in greenlighting this type of flamebait. The 800-post gorilla is just going to be more profitable than the 45-post hummingbird.

/headline still ain't worth a damn
//still don't blame you for going
///considering it myself

---

Something I've been considering for a while anyways. Used to log on to see what was funny; now it seems like I log on to see what's gonna piss me off. Not that I never submit flamebait, but I'd be just as surprised if some of my stuff got greenlighted too. Always think of it as a chuckle for the admins as they're hitting [FLUSH], or a good eye-roll for some of the more uptight TFers. I think Fark was more fun when it wasn't quite so bottom-line-oriented, both in terms of the headlines and in terms of the classifieds allowed. The 45-post hummingbird may not be as profitable, but it was funny, dammit.

Of course, it would leave a hole in my surfing habits. Anyone know of a similar news-aggregate site that's actually still funny?

Heh, it's 2:42. All these years later, I still don't miss high school a bit, but the odd-ass time the last bell rang still holds a place in my heart. Heh, is that telling or what? The only thing I'm nostalgic for is how the end of the day felt.

Got an interview tomorrow, and it's the first time I've needed a college transcript. Too short of notice to get one mailed, so I went and picked it up.

I graduated from Bluffton College (now Bluffton University...whatever) back in 2000. For all that time, for all that's changed in my life, for all that's changed in the world -- it still felt like going home. Thinking on it on the way home, I decided it was the difference between growing up and growing older that made BC special -- most of my life I've just done the latter. Bluffton was where I did most of my growing up.

It wasn't like going back in time, and it wasn't like time had stood still -- it was like the time had never elapsed, it was like I was still where I belonged. I double-checked the campus map, but I didn't really need to, the registrar's office was still in College Hall. I walked the long way there -- it's a relatively small campus, travel is done on foot or by bike -- just remembering how beautiful the place was. Even without the memories it's beautiful -- a very clean campus, lots of wooded areas even right next to buildings. And the squirrels. I'd never forgotten how many there were -- jokes abounded anout Marbeck cafeteria workers using squirrel meat in the food -- but I had forgotten just how close you could get to them. Not go-up-and-pet-them close, but they have no qualms about crossing the sidewalk just a few feet in front of you.

The insides of the building were, of course, all the same -- at least the ones I went through. At 8:15 am most people were in classes, didn't really want to disturb anybody. Even though I don't know anybody there anymore...strike that. I still know quite a bit of the faculty and staff (whether they remember me may be another story), I just don't know any of the students. Even so, I still got a friendly hello from anyone I passed. Went through Bren-Dell, my dorm all four years, and still felt like I could knock on any door in the place and be welcome. I might have, too, had any of them been open, but at that time anyone not in a class is still asleep.

As I wandered around the campus, all sorts of memories came back to me, all good memories. Rose-tinted glasses, absence makes the heart grow fonder, yada yada yada. Briefly thought about catalogging them here, but at that point they stop being memories so much as a rote exercise in recollection, then just a list of names and events. I prefer they remain memories, even if they fade with time.

In a way it's a little strange I'm so fond of the place, as I haven't kept in touch with anyone who went to school with me. Someone I once knew (who has no other bearing to this story) once told me that life is a passing parade -- once people pass, they normally never enter your life again. While he had said it in reference to the losers in life, I've found it to be applicable to the best as well as the worst. You're friends with them while they're here, then hope they remember you as fondly as you remember them.

I could have stayed on campus all day, but they wouldn't have liked that much at work, so I said my "see you later"s to the place -- as I have no doubts about being there again sometime -- took one last drive around the back of the campus, and was on my way.

The trip back saw me bringing up memories that were memories when I attended there, memories I can talk about without them losing their magic, memories etched upon my soul. Memories of my father, how he used to come home full of metal splinters and smelling like grease from the factory that eventually took his life. Memories of holding my cousin Trina when she was little and telling her how much I love her -- she's still with us, but now that she's 18 I can't get away with that.

And also more memories of Bluffton on the trip home, this time more the relogious aspect of attending a Mennonite college. I wasn't Mennonite then and I'm not now -- I don't think I'd classify myself as really having a denomination -- but that was the environment in which my faith grew up along with me. I said the Lord's Prayer on the way home -- something I haven't done in a long time -- and paused a few times, thinking about the temptations I give in to and the trespasses I had yet to forgive. Including some etched in as deeply as the best of my memories, which I tend to forget more than forgive. I'll not bring them up here -- if I can't forgive them, I suppose they're better left forgotten.

All in all, a very peaceful and happy morning for me. I only wish coming home felt like going home.