When's the last time I was up for posting twice in two days? Anywho...

Cut my hair off today, feels so much cooler. I should cut it more often, but I opt for the "Does it stick up when I wake up?" test -- if I have to comb it, it's time to cut it. ( This gets longer than I thought it would. The entry, not my hair. )

All that to say I cut my hair. Anywho, got that done outside, came in to take a shower, and plopped my clothes down beside ( now I'm just building suspense... )

Or, "Springtime in Celina, Ohio"

( Twitter )
( Lent )
( Martians )
( Garbage Digging )

And completely unrelated to any of that, we got our living room cleaned up. Yay!

I am thoroughly convinced that the writers for MSN have no idea what they're talking about.

"By now you'd think scientists could close the book on caffeine and move on to other mysteries, like why anyone would ever order a chai latte." From their article on the benefits of caffeine, this makes me wonder if the author has ever tasted a good chai latte. Or if s/he burned off too many taste buds testing these caffeinated hypotheses.

"RICKROLLING (2008) — an online prank in which users are unexpectedly linked to the ghastly Rick Astley music video “Never Gonna Give You Up.”" This from page 3 of their explanation of memes. Now granted, it's not Meat Loaf or Devo, but I've seen a lot worse -- and I haven't seen that many. Unless they were rhyming with Astley -- to which I say, even Dubya knows that words mean things.

And these were articles I clicked on with genuine interest. Does it get worse?

Tot Tidbits: Leary's Autism Rant, Xtina's Procreation Plans. Abbreviating "Christ" as X comes from the Greek Χριστος -- so unless the author is writing in Greek, the letter of abbreviation should be C, not X. (Those who refuse to write out Christmas should take notes.) Also, since it's an abbreviation for "Christ", this would make her name Christtina. May we be blessed by the magic of her music. Or not. More from the article:
- "Denis Leary had better keep an ear out for the angry clacking of Jenny McCarthy's high heels." She's a woman, therefore she must wear high heels. And the Autism Society of America says Leary is stuck in the 1950s.
- (Yeah, it's awful on a variety of levels, but keep in mind he does mockingly list himself as Dr. Denis Leary on the book's cover and is the same guy who penned a song titled "I'm an A--h---.") Grow some balls. If it's "awful on a variety of levels," then you turn around and justify it, what does that say about you?

So, Jessica Biel is JT's "box". Well not really. Still, someone somewhere along the line should have seen this and sent up a red flag.

I just closed the tab when I saw an article titled "The failure of the American consumer". Message to MSN from planet Earth: Please bring your collective head back from Uranus.

- Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" is popular because it's two females. A guy singing about kissing another guy would never take off.

- Still on that song, I wonder how long it'll take for the Kidz Bop version to hit. Because you know it will. They have those kids sing anything.

I eat peas with honey,
I've done it all my life;
It does taste kind of funny --
But it keeps them on the knife!

- There's a new soap opera called All My Chicken. I don't recommend it, though -- the acting is pretty fowl.

- Michael Phelps' middle name is Fred. No joke.

So iunno, I've just lost motivation to blog. Only reason I'm really doing it now is to put off calling my interviewer back -- I despise talking on the phone. Screw it, I'll call. Didn't get it, ah well. I got more dental swords, these ones have a flip-out point guard so Nate will be happy to know they don't reach far into the ear canal. Not that the waxy fortress has made any return anyways, I think irritation from the loud radio chatter and earpieces at OfficeMax had a lot to do with it. So I'm-a be married in a little under two months, and Pattie has come to the realization that momma and I were right about eloping. It'll still be a nice wedding, just much headacheness planning it. We're still on track, although we've still got some invitation stragglers to get addresses for and some groomsmen still need fitted for tuxes.

And I make fun of Pattie for not using carriage returns. Wow. I have to pee.

I am returned. So, Pirates of the Caribbean Online. For as good a speller as I am, I ALWAYS want two "R"s and one "B" in that word. Anyways. The limited free trial is nifty. I went ahead and did the $5 for the first month of unlimited, will know better in a few weeks if it's worth $10/mo after that. So far it's really fun, which surprises me because I normally hate the behind-the-character-3D crapola. Back in the day I think I tried to play Guild Wars for a whole week before I gave up in disgust. Leave it to Disney to finally get it right.

So our furnace is out again. The one nice thing about renting is that it's someone else's problem when stuff goes to pot. Which is ironic, because going to the pot is my only problem when the furnace goes out. I swear that toilet seat has a layer of dry ice on it.

Shill #2: Have I told you guys about NutraCal? Good stuff. I'm not personally worried about calcium deficiency -- I'd actually originally gotten it for Pattie, as it also boasts increased energy. Turns out Pattie can't handle it on the far end of her GI tract, but I've noticed it gives me more energy. Anyone who's interested can get a jar for $3.85, coupon code is CAL101. Without the period. That just denotes the end of the sentence.

I like green tea.

So I finally used up the last of that wretched toothpaste I had. The flavor wasn't bad, it was the packaging. It was a two-part toothpaste, but both parts were in one segmented tube. As you can guess, only one part ever came out at a time, and it got worse as I went up the tube. Technically there was still a little useable product in there, I just gave up on it. Good riddance.

If someone comes up to you and asks you to clean out the sink thigamajigger, are you going to figure out they wanted you to take the dishes out of the strainer, which is not in the sink? Yeah, me either. And that apparently makes me an asshole. Huh.

And I'm spent.

Once upon a time, Bob Costas and Fred Phelps were skinny-dipping together just off Fisherman's Wharf. They were splashing about gaily, minding their own business, when suddenly the corpse of James Garfield rammed his jetski into Bob Costas' spleen. As the dead President had no insurance, Fred decided to seek help from Victor Kiriakis, who just happened to have an extra spleen lying about. Organ in hand, Fred returned to the wharf to find Michael Dorn looking confused. Fred quickly explained the difference between "wharf" and "Worf", then entered the water and found Bob Costas irritable but still doing well. Fred fed Bob the spleen, which restored him to full health.

From their table on the wharf, Mike Tyson and Danny Ainge looked up from their lunch to watch the commotion. "That bites", Mike said, to which Danny readily agreed.

So Pattie's watching one of those cop/forensic shows that's all the rage these days, which leaves me to amuse myself. I *could* cuddle up and ignore the show, but I just got done doing that for Survivor, so meh.

Once upon a time, I actually didn't mind television so much. I was never a big watcher, but I caught He-Man and Saturday morning cartoons religiously, and The Cosby Show wasn't too bad either. The Price Is Right, The Three Stooges, Looney Tunes...what ever happened to shows like that? I mean, I think Bob Barker's still on the air, but last time I tried to watch he looked like it was painful for him to be on stage he was so old.

So she watches and I don't. Variety is the spice of life, so they say. We must be habañero together.

At home I always have a light on in the room I'm in, she never does. She had four blankets on last night while I went without any. Don't even get me started on food. She has vivid dreams, I don't even remember mine. Oh, and she only leaves her teabag in long enough to color the water. I dunno how she can drink it that way.

So we finally got some snow. A white Valentine's Day isn't quite the same as a white Christmas, but I'll take what I can get. In other news, I actually got to celebrate Valentine's Day. We traded cards, went out to eat, listened to mom and Chris making kissy noises all night, and had a good time.

I'm not used to having someone over my shoulder when I'm on the computer. Not that I mind, really, it's just strange, it kinda interrupts my normal pattern. Ah well, suppose I better get used to it.

Strangest thing -- after years and years of not liking gum, a few days ago I got the craving for a piece and now I like it again. Extra Arctic Blast is good stuff, it tastes like what I remember Pepto Bismol tasting like in second grade.

In other news, I haven't had Pepto Bismol since second grade. Pity in a way, it was some good-tasting stuff.

Jägermeister is some good-tasting stuff too, I grabbed a liter for the weekend today. Broke Pattie's state-liquor-store cherry in the process, not that there's anything special about state liquor stores in Ohio. A little place called Wine Sellers -- I know their location out her way is an actual food establishment, but the one here in Lima is just liquor, pop, and munchies.

And now, the tag.

RULES: Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1) I chew my toenails, I cannot stand the sound of nail clippers.

2) I wear shorts year-round. In Ohio. I just don't usually get cold.

3) I sleep naked.

4) I like weird food combinations, like fried okra and vanilla ice cream, or bacon and chocolate pudding. Or Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew Code Red, and a dash of nutmeg. Pattie putting pickles on her spaghetti crosses the line, though. Yecch.

5) I've been using the screenname red_beard_neo and the little angel icon about as long as I've been using the internet.

6) I have no sleep schedule. I go to bed anywhere from 11pm to 4am, whether I have to be up the next morning or not.

7) I have a higher singing voice than anyone I know, male or female. Well, any of them that I've heard sing, anyways.

8) From the OCD department: if I'm at all familiar with a set of stairs, ending on my left foot feels wrong somehow. If it's an unfamiliar set of stairs it doesn't matter.

9) I dry off thoroughly after a bath, shower, or swim. I didn't really think this was weird, but Pattie was absolutely fascinated by it.

10) Once in a great while, I'll grab a permanent marker and write "I love you" on the first piece of TP for mom to find in the morning. She's never said anything about it.

The tagees:
Mike and Pattie: You two can do this on Myspace since I'm the only one you know here.
kittytreats
silntbob
uapyro
sdphreak

So Eric at work is prolly mad at me. They'd asked me to stay over (after my 10-hour shift) to help put away machines. I was considering it, when I go to the back to load up a cart and there he is, chatting away on a personal phone call. If he's got time for that, I figured he didn't need any help.

I was actually motivated enough to get a workout in before work this morning. I may burn off this blubber yet.

While neither is my favorite on its own, something about blond hair and brown eyes on the same person just makes me drool.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense! Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!

An entry on my friends list prompted me to check something silly on Wikipedia.

As noted, "behaviour" and its derivatives redirect to "behavior" (US).
"Humor" and its derivations redirect to "humour" (Brit).
"Colour" redirects to "color" (US).
"Yogurt" redirects to "yoghurt" (Brit).
"Sulphur" redirects to "sulfur" (US/IUPAC).
"Aluminum" redirects to "aluminium" (Brit/IUPAC).
"Anti-clockwise" redirects to "counterclockwise" (US).
"Donut" redirects to "doughnut" (Brit).
"Arse" and "ass" get separate entries. "Arsehole", however, redirects to "asshole" (US).
"Archeology" redirects to "archaeology" (Brit).
"Mould" redirects to "mold" (US).
"Theater" redirects to "Theatre" (Brit).
"Gaol" (meaning a detention center) disambiguates to "jail", which is just a mess. In the US it's "jail", the British use both, and in Australia it's "gaol". Furthermore, "jail/gaol" in Brit/Aussie English is used like "prison" in the US, as opposed to their "overnight cells" being the equivalent of US "jails".

"Fucking ego-bigoted Americans", my arse.

Find your own pose!

WTF? I'm not a cold fish, thank you very much.



One of these days, when I have an extra $30 just laying around...



No sir, I don't want a shit-quality wallet. lol



Mmm...kimchi...

My ear plugged up on Tuesday night. After days of vigorous assaults upon the waxy fortress with peroxide, rubbing alcohol, baby oil, a water-filled syringe, a bobby pin, an allen wrench, and Q-tips -- yes, the name-brand, they have the most durable sticks -- tonight after work I finally got enough brown wet sticky foul-smelling goop out for it to *pop!* and return my hearing to normal. In celebration, I changed the look of my LiveJournal. And yes, I am the king of TMI.

And now for something completely different -- the chipotle.

Buffalo nipples.


Fermented headlice.


Isis! Isis! Ra Ra Ra!


There ya go, Pattie, no mention of the food I bought. Nyah.

Heh. I'd hope the Millenium Dome is over twice my size.

Arlington Tour

I have no idea what to say to this.

( More randomness behind the cut. )

Hope nobody was watching my journal for the past hour. If so, my condolences on the motion sickness.

I'm done now. I promise.